How to Adjust With Your In-Laws After Marriage
If you are getting married soon and you’ll be living with your in-laws in the future, then it is quite possible that you are not exactly looking forward to the whole arrangement. You could have reservations about your space, the extent you would have to change and about interference in your lifestyle and way of life. But if the situation is not entirely avoidable, then here is how to adjust with your in-laws after marriage.
How to Adjust with Your In-Laws – Talk it out Before Marriage
Before marriage, make sure that you talk to your husband-to-be about your concerns and reservations. Make it evident to him that it is a big step for you and that you would be doing it just to make him happy. Of course, this is assuming that you do have a problem with the setup in the first place. If you are overexcited about living in a joint family, then this post is not for you!
Explain to your fiancee that you are ready to adjust with your in-laws but you do have certain things that are non-negotiable. It maybe your food habits or certain things in your lifestyle that are totally opposite to theirs. Pick only those battles that are close to your heart and speak it out frankly. This way, you can be sure that he will do the groundwork with his parents about how to make you comfortable.
How to Adjust with Your In-Laws – Take it Easy in the First Week
Your first week at the husband’s home is a sensitive time. So try to remain low-key and below the radar during that time. It is likely that you would be travelling around, meeting relatives or preparing to leave for your honeymoon at this time. This is definitely not the time to worry about adjusting with your in-laws. Instead, remain in the periphery, helping around a bit, smiling often and nodding away to things without stirring up any controversy. If they ask you to cook, make the best items in your repertoire and blow everyone’s minds.
How to Adjust with Your In-Laws – Changes
It is not just you worrying about how to adjust with your in-laws after marriage. Most probably, your mother-in-law is also going through various mixed feelings – her son is now closer to another woman, there is a younger girl in the house who proclaims to be smarter and most importantly, a sense of insecurity about how you would change their life. From experience, we’d like to tell you that if it is not important to you, then don’t try to make any changes to their life, at least not in the first few months.
Understand that it is their house and they are used to living their life in a certain way in that house. So it is alright to let things be and not try to make any drastic changes to their lives. If you have a space to yourself, use that to exercise your tastes in decor and lifestyle. Over time, the entire house will also evolve along with you, but the first few years is not the time to make those changes.
How to Adjust with Your In-Laws – Space and Time
No, we are not discussing physics but what we want to talk about is chemistry. It is quite possible that you do not get the kind of time with your husband in a joint family setup as you would if you lived alone. This makes it important for you to separate your ‘alone time’ from family time. Having meals with the family or watching television with them is fine. But in order to adjust with your in-laws, you don’t have to spend all your time with them.
Keep some time religiously aside to spend with your spouse – in your 24 hours, keep aside not more than 3-4 hours for family time and make sure that the rest of the time is purely ‘yours’. This way, you will not feel that someone else is invading into your time.
How to Adjust with Your In-Laws – Lifestyle
In a bid to adjust with your in-laws, you do not have to make any sacrifices or large changes in your lifestyle. We’re suggesting this because such drastic changes will only increase your stress and make you feel like you got a raw deal. Make known to them about the way you are used to live and cross the bride to meet them halfway – this way, both of you are making changes to adjust with each other.
Remember that it is not just you making the changes to adjust with your in-laws. They too will be making adjustments to make you comfortable. In the first few months, remain quiet and absorb things in about the ways of the house. Treat them with respect and you will get the same. Help out with the chores to the extent possible but definitely do not agree to take over all the tasks of the house soon after your marriage. This way, your life will roll out smoothly in the new house!